FRESHIE ON MY SLACKS

A Random Act of Photos - Hopscotch

2011-06-06T21:56:00.000-04:00

Shot with iphone4
edited with CS3

RAW

2011-05-30T12:42:00.006-04:00

RAW - Raging Asian Women

Taiko Drummers

Please check them out on Facebook by clicking on the title of this post!

Random Act of Photos - Eat and be eaten

2011-05-14T21:44:00.000-04:00

Shot with iphone 4

edited with CS3

In my complete ignorance about gardening I had thought the prevalence of snails to be a "healthy" sign.

From what I have read so far they are garden pests, but they are also a vital part of the food chain so poisoning them is a no go.

People pick them out of the garden and then what? Where the hell do you put them all. I have spotted too many to count.

Coffee grounds, egg shells, iron...what have you tried? What has worked? How do you handle these little critters? I know I will eat just about anything, but I won't eat these. So that's out.

Random Act of Photos - Pony school line up

2011-03-29T17:42:00.000-04:00

shot with Nikon D40
Nikkor 50mm f1.4
edited in CS3

My daughter likes to play a game with me called "Pony school line up." Its a game where all the my little pony toys have to line up and do various school type activities. She assigns me the Pony I will play the game with and she is always the teacher. We've made up a couple theme songs for when we begin and end the game.
I get to be Bluish most of the time who seems to always be doing time outs for misbehaving. And sometimes I also get to be Minty who is the nicer younger sister of Bluish but always finds herself in awkward situations with the other ponys.
When Bluish gets sent to time out its called "going north east" and usually involves getting a needle or some other unpleasant thing.

Random Act of Photos - Tween and the melancholy

2011-03-20T12:15:00.000-04:00

Shot with iPhone 4
edited with CS3

Took my daughter to the park on one of the first sunny not too cold days this week.
There were a few other parents with children in the 4 and under set.
Then, just before lunch hour a lone tween wandered onto the playground. She was on a break from school and was looking to do a playground circuit.
She went on the swing soaring as high as she could. Then, on to the climber to scale the ropes and sit perched high above where any toddler could go. She sat there, with the sun beaming on her face and the wind blowing in her hair.
She climbed back down and before leaving the area she stopped, stooped down and picked up a handful of sand. She let it slide through her fingers until it was gone.
I just kept thinking what a strange place - between adult and child. Letting go and looking forward.
I felt a little pang of sadness for her, but ultimately, I felt hopeful cause this kid seemed to understand that growing up is a process and not an event.

Random Act Of Photos

2011-03-04T15:29:00.000-05:00

Combing through toys from her long ago.
Finding a mobile that is Mother and Baby rabbits.
When wound it plays "And I love her."
Purchased when I went away for the first time.
It was a whole day and you were barely 5 months old.
My heart, as they say - existed outside of my body.
"And this is you and I?"
Yes, its you and I.

Nikon D40
Nikor 50 mm lens f1.4
Edited in CS3

Random Act Of Photos

2011-02-28T22:43:00.000-05:00

Little Shoes
Ossington and Dupont

Rituals

2011-02-17T23:45:00.000-05:00

Shot with Nikon D40
Nikon 50mm lens
edited with CS3

She goes to sleep listening to the Beatles instrumental cause she says the words get in the way of her dreams.
She wakes and we hear her stretch, yawn and fumble for a CD to put on.
Johnny Cash or Ben Harper its any body's guess.
All I know is that our girl is happiest in the p.m. /a.m. when she is listening to music.
Sometimes she dances and sometimes she counts the beats or isolates the pleasing sounds, naming the instruments.
The dance makes me, in my heart weep as does the counting of the rhythmic beat.
Child has to move, child has to sing and even her Ethel Merman style vibrato strikes a chord in me.
Music.
There has to be music.
Music heals the hurts that we did not know so closely till we heard that tune.
That line that repeats in us, inspires us to be intrepid in the land of our own minds.
Tell me that you have never ever heard a song that has driven you to tears and I will call you a liar.
There has to be music.

Random Act Of photos

2011-02-15T17:36:00.000-05:00

Fuck Yah! Banana bread success!
I can't tell you how many times banana bread has failed on me. Was it cooking in an electric oven? Was I too drunk? Who the hell knows.

Shot with iphone 4
edited with TSG app
CS4

Thanks For the Memories - Random act of photos

2011-02-11T00:29:00.000-05:00

An old church on Westmoreland just north of Bloor.
I stop to take some photos and a man gets out of a van across the street. He crosses the street and approaches me.
He: Excuse me, may I ask just what it is you are doing?
Me: I am taking photos of this building
He: What is the purpose that you are taking the photos for?
Me: I like to take photos and its interesting
He: Well, I work here (its a condo development I believe) and its my understanding that there are no photos allowed
Me: (laughing) I am standing on a sidewalk. That's public property so I am certainly "allowed" to take photos
He: (suddenly standing down as he has drawn a small crowd) Oh. Okay. But do you work for someone?
Me: Look. I am a private citizen and I am taking some photos of this building okay?
He: Okay

A Random Act of Photos

2011-02-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the suggestions when I decided that photo a day was overly ambitious of me at this point. Two kids and lots of other things on the go. I appreciate people looking at and commenting on these photos. Its an excercise and the goal is to get better. The process is as important as the final outcome.
These are random acts of photos (thanks Anita)

shot with Nikon D40
Nikor 50mm lens
edited with CS3
100 cameras in 1 app for iphone 4

Happy feet

2011-02-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

2011-02-01T20:35:00.002-05:00

by Mazy age (almost 4)

The Penguin's name is Joanne.

2011-01-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

Joanne: "What are you eating?"
M: "Its called sausage, do you know what that is?"
Joanne: "No"
M: "It's a fish that is groovy AND crunchy."

Batgirl take 2

2011-01-28T00:05:00.000-05:00

Shot with iphone 4
edited in camera with Adobe PS app, TSG app
edited with CS3

Shit I do to amuse myself

2011-01-25T21:51:00.000-05:00

shot with iphone 4
edited in camera with adobe PS app
TSG app

hieroglyphics

2011-01-25T00:12:00.000-05:00

The beauty of you
That even in shadow makes its mark on the earth.
Indelible, beautiful you.

shot with iphone 4
edited w/adobe CS

Baby Blue

2011-01-23T00:02:00.000-05:00

Little Boy Blue come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow the cow's in the corn.
But where's the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under a haystack fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I - for if I do, he's sure to cry

Nikon D40
Nikkor 50mm lens
F 1.4
1/20
Tungsten
Adobe PS

Nursery at night

2011-01-20T22:29:00.000-05:00

This was my lamp when I was a baby.
It is over 40 years old.
Bo peep has lost her sheep and she never found it again.
The end

iphone 4
adobe PS

If words could protect you while you sleep

2011-01-18T17:30:00.000-05:00

Nikon D40
Nikkor 50mm lens
F4.0
1/40sec

Where your head hides your spirit

2011-01-17T20:56:00.000-05:00

Nikon D40
Nikkor 50mm
F 2.5
Adobe PS

"She smells like purple!"

2011-01-15T21:25:00.000-05:00

Taken with iphone 4
TSG app
Adobe PS app

Shine little glow worm glimmer

2011-01-13T20:42:00.000-05:00

Noir Car

2011-01-12T20:30:00.000-05:00

Shot with an iphone 4 and manipulated using adobe PS app and Tilt Shift Generator app (TSG)

Photo A Day is back!

2011-01-11T12:20:00.006-05:00

I wish to thank all those who encourage me to take photos. Its challenging to keep developing as a photographer and raise a family. So to all of you known and unknown to me. I appreciate you looking, checking back and sending me messages of encouragement.

For Christmas my husband gave me an iphone so in keeping with the adage that "the best camera is the one that's with you." I am finding new ways to communicate with my minds eye and share my version of the images of the world around me.

A sincere thanks,

Krista

Photo A Day

2010-03-10T09:51:00.000-05:00

Photo a day will return shortly...

Photo A Day

2010-03-07T22:01:00.004-05:00

Alleyway Seaton Village
f 9.0
shutter 1/125
80mm
ISO 200

Photo A Day

2010-03-05T21:13:00.002-05:00

Photo A Day

2010-03-03T22:55:00.000-05:00

What is it all about?

f 3.2
shutter 1/40
50mm

Photo A Day

2010-03-02T15:00:00.000-05:00

The Conversation

f 2.8
shutter 1/200
50mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-28T21:00:00.002-05:00

Putting the finishing touches on Carl the Snowman.

f 9.0
shutter 1/125
55mm
+ 1.00 EV

Photo A Day

2010-02-27T16:48:00.003-05:00

f 5.6
shutter 1/100
45mm
+1.00 EV

Photo A Day

2010-02-26T21:45:00.003-05:00

Home made pie on a cold day from a good friend.
(Thanks Tina)
f 2.0
shutter 1/60
50mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-25T19:49:00.003-05:00

Winter returns

f 7.1
shutter 1/20
32mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-23T21:00:00.001-05:00

Richmond and Spadina

Photo A Day

2010-02-22T17:10:00.004-05:00

One hour's accumulation

f 5.6
shutter 1/80
70 mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-21T21:22:00.001-05:00

One more from Graffiti alley at Queen and Spadina

Photo A Day

2010-02-20T19:29:00.003-05:00

A much photographed piece of street art at Queen and Spadina.
Does anyone know anything about it or the artist? Didn't come up with any info re: google search.

Photo A Day

2010-02-18T18:56:00.001-05:00

by the metre (for Kasia)

f 5.0
shutter 1/100
50 mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-17T22:04:00.003-05:00

"I don't need to ride the baby swing anymore."

f 7.0
Shutter 1/100
Sony Cybershot

Photo A Day

2010-02-17T09:50:00.002-05:00

A little hit of Summer
f 2.0
shutter 1/60
50 mm
bounce flash

Photo A Day

2010-02-15T20:26:00.001-05:00

Snow pants at dusk

f 5.0
shutter 1/60
40 mm
on camera flash

Photo A Day

2010-02-14T18:28:00.004-05:00

Love is in the trees

f 5.0
Shutter 1.60
40 mm
on camera flash

Photo A Day

2010-02-12T15:46:00.001-05:00

Love Cookies

f 1.6
Shutter 1/4000
50mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-11T22:13:00.003-05:00

Garbage in garbage out

f 5.6
shutter 1/60
50mm
ISO 200

Photo A Day

2010-02-10T19:33:00.002-05:00

Ikea dreams

f 2.8
shutter 1/60
Sony Cybershot

Photo A Day

2010-02-09T19:45:00.003-05:00

The ballerina's cocoon

f 1.4
shutter 1/30
50mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-08T17:10:00.003-05:00

Starfruit tea

f 2.8
shutter 1/10
Sony Cybershot

Photo A Day

2010-02-07T21:33:00.002-05:00

Terracotta pieces on wood and stone

f 8.0
Shutter 1/60
70mm
Hand held flash

Photo A Day

2010-02-06T21:59:00.002-05:00

Noodles For Breakfast

F 1.8
Shutter 1/200
50 mm

Photo A Day

2010-02-05T16:14:00.003-05:00

Tulips on a bleak February day.

F 1.4
Shutter 1/30
50 mm
ISO 200

Summer songs

2009-09-22T20:46:00.008-04:00

Season of warm mornings and golden late evenings.
Cicadas song to signal the beginning of the end.
Laying in the grass and touching all dirt, plant, animal and the sweetness of everything good.
Scraped knees mended by a magical kiss and the adventure continues.

The stars in the sky are brighter here, in our minds at this time in our lives.
Singing nonsense songs while overturning the stones to find worms.
Dragon flies hovering round to remind us to hold these memories tightly.

This was Spring...I know it is now summer. Just enjoy the pretty picture.

2009-06-25T10:21:00.004-04:00

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

Che cosa?

2009-03-19T22:19:00.002-04:00

Preparing meals with a two year old around means having lots of things for her to do while meal prep is being done. We've opted for the fridge full of magnetic letters.
This is what Mazy came up with one day. I took this shot because it looked like an Italian word to me - which, as it turns out is. Its the plural form of the Italian adjective Innato which means 'innate, native or inborn." I have been speaking to Mazy in my occasional lazy french, but she is only two cannot to my knowledge speak Italian or spell.
Huh, weird.

Farewell Winter I hope to remember you like this.

2009-02-26T09:35:00.004-05:00

I love its crispness and its bright new snowfalls. I love the promise of deep renewing winter sleep.
I love the excitement of a winter white landscape after a dull grey fall.

Model: Caitlin Edwards
Photo: Untitled 1 from Season Project

City

2008-12-11T23:43:00.003-05:00

Fall Down Build Up

2008-11-04T22:22:00.005-05:00

How pleased I am to know that my child lives in a world where people who vote make a difference for the better.
I sincerely hope that the bar will be raised in Canada - that we rise to the occasion to have a country that is truly representative of who lives here and recognize how those who are historically unrepresented need everyone's help to have their voices heard.
I have watched the celebrating in Kenya via internet a few times now, as I am relieved for the American people to finally see crowds cheering them, instead of jeering them in other countries.
I know this is an uphill battle for the United States, but at least they can walk through that fire United.
Congratulations
Is it too optimistic to say let the healing begin?

The Spirits of Summer #3 Aderemi and the waning summer light.

2008-09-30T16:06:00.004-04:00

The Spirits of Summer #2 The Late Summer Storm

2008-08-15T16:09:00.002-04:00

The Spirits of Summer #1 Jayden

2008-08-02T15:02:00.004-04:00

Confessions of a headless figure

2008-07-05T20:45:00.002-04:00

Wild in the city.

2008-06-04T23:09:00.006-04:00

Last Saturday at about 5 a.m. we woke up to the sounds of a drunken teenager - dry heaving and begging his god to make it stop. He managed to wake our child or as I like to call it - giving me a reason to beat you senseless. He then moved on to the front lawn and knocked over patio chairs and all of the garbage cans in front of our apartment building. He was really carrying on something wild and puking simultaneously. Quite a feat for a fella fresh out of high school. I didn't look out the window but Sean got an eyeful and apparently he was removing clothing while trying to find refuge in a locked storage container belonging to the restaurant next door.
Later that day, we went out for some lunch and Sean pointed to something on Bathurst St. "I believe that's his tie." Regrettably, I have no photo of his tie.
A few nights later we were sitting in the living room and heard what sounded like a demented creature outside of our balcony door.

I know he looks cute and harmless but I am truly afraid of raccoons. I've had so many run ins with them over the years I have lost count. Sean snapped this photo as I was too afraid to look until I had some assurance that it would not suddenly leap at my face.
So make your jokes and take your cheap shots. If you knew raccoons like I know raccoons - you'd be afraid too.

And they stayed that way.

2008-05-18T22:36:00.003-04:00

I have so much to say about this that all I'll say for sure is sometimes less is more.

You can't wait out a creative block

2008-05-02T16:21:00.002-04:00

Last year, I started to do research for the upcoming CONTACT show. I thought I had a solid lead on an idea. Then it changed, morphed into something else. This did not concern me as it was my creative process. Then it all changed again and again until my ideas seemed to deteriorate into a muddle of nothingness and everything simultaneously. I was stumped, directionless with no connecting ideas. I only had fragments of ideas or ideas which had no relevance to the theme of this years show. The theme is 'Between Memory and History.' A sad joke being that I was short on both.
Panic mode set in and I found myself with a full on creative block. Everyone I spoke to and everything that I read on the topic of the creative block assured me that this was a normal event and could often lead to new and exciting ideas.
I asked for help and it was given in ways I could have never imagined. My partner, who has the remarkable ability to remain calm and look at things from a myriad of perspectives. He always has my back. My friends, who are also artists and understood what was happening offered advice in ways that allowed me to let up on myself and just create without the unrealistic expectation that everything will be a goddamned masterpiece. The whole reason for being in this group show is to push myself to experiment with photography and do things I wouldn't normally do.
I was reminded that it was the process that I needed to focus on, not the end product. Let it happen and it will come.
I'm happy to say that the work is coming along and I'm in the final stages or post production of my pieces. It is a long, slow and often surprising process.

Love the mix tape and the mixer

2008-04-23T14:11:00.002-04:00

I still have mixed tapes that were made by friends.
I only kept a few that I really enjoyed with the intention of making cd's.
I remember making mixed tapes and how much care went into the selection of music. The theme of the mix and then of course the cover.
This photo was shot in the alley behind the Karma Co op in Toronto.

Time the Avenger

2008-04-18T12:30:00.008-04:00

Sleep and time intertwined.
I wish I had more of it on a daily basis.
Used to be, when I was a child that time would stand static. An hour seeming like an eternity, and the summer seemed to last forever.
Now, I am constantly trying to make time to do things. And then when I do have the time, I am often too tired to do what I initially set out to do.
I am perplexed by how swiftly a day moves and confounded by the lightning speed of so called, spare time.
Time and perception of having a lack thereof creates a great deal of anxiety for me.
Living has no present, past or future. It just is - this is me alive now in this moment.
Our brains slide along this time line incessantly, reminding us we are finite.

Be Nice, clear your Motherfu**ing ice!

2008-03-12T20:23:00.002-04:00

Its a rant about people being inconsiderate and not clearing the sidewalk in front of their property.
First, big up to our Super duper intendants for being so diligent about clearing the ice and snow in a timely fashion.
Pushing a stroller through the snow and ice is no picnic to begin with, but added to this a complete laziness on the part of what seems to be landlords of rental properties and its an accident waiting to happen. And what of those who have mobility issues trying to get through the snow and ice? Well, they are just shit out of luck.
My favourite is the people who perform the bare minimum and clear what appears to be a 4 inch wide rut in the sidewalk only in front of the porch to that particular building. This is (to borrow a phrase from a friend) a real commitment to laziness.
The city of Toronto has begun to hand out fines for not clearing in front of one's property and frankly, they are pretty minor considering that if someone slips outside of your property they do have the right to sue your ass. And I'm pretty sure they would be awarded more than $105.00
If you do have mobility issues and/or are elderly - the city will help you clear your sidewalk.

So, c'mon don't be such a jerk...clear your ice.

International Womens Day

2008-03-08T19:58:00.006-05:00

"We know more about the air we breathe, the seas we travel, than about the nature and meaning of motherhood" - Adrienne Rich

Lighten Up

2008-02-26T15:27:00.005-05:00

It's enough that I put a bathing suit on yesterday and went to the pool to get some exercise. I was so tired that it took all my mental and physical strength to get there. I just kept thinking about how great I would sleep that night.
It was not to be as Ms. M kept waking up with a terrible congested cough and fever. She was in a bad way but eventually did sleep some. Me - none. My Mother alarm was engaged and I slept in ready mode. When Mazy finally awoke for the day, she had more energy than seemed appropriate for being under the weather. Its at these times when I feel a bit bitter towards the current situation that Mazy pokes me in the belly with her index finger as if to say "lighten up, we will only be in this moment once."
Smart girl.

Happy Birthday to the Amazing Mazy!

2008-02-11T22:33:00.000-05:00

Mazy, the world is a better place because you are in it.
Happy Birthday my funny, smart and beautiful daughter.
I Love You.

Hold on to what you know to be true

2008-01-16T19:20:00.000-05:00

Is it just me, or has this become the darkest most anxious time of year?
Still, there is beauty to be witnessed and wonders to behold.
No, I haven't discovered god. I just hold on to what I know to be true.
The sun will come out again eventually.
A year passes quickly when one becomes a parent.
Going back to work/choosing to stay home or any decision which involves finding, losing and finding yourself again is difficult.
I applaud all the Mother's, Father's and care givers who are present and accounted for no matter how difficult the situation.

Babies are tiny little insane people #3 Sudden Stranger Anxiety.

2007-12-07T15:53:00.001-05:00

Someone suggested to me that it was the outfit that spurred this response. I can take no credit for this photo except that I kept urging the girl shooting the pic to "do it now, do it now" before Mazy erupted into the pose you see here. Ms. M was totally on board with this when she saw how fuzzy Santa's coat was - until she realized it was attached to a strange old man.
The best part of this is Santa's expression. How much of this could one person endure in a day?
Thanks to Andrea for passing this great link along to me..Scared of Santa

Babies are tiny little insane people #2 Why do I have dark circles under my eyes?

2007-11-13T14:21:00.001-05:00

Every time she flashes that thousand watt smile I am reminded of why I have dark circles under my eyes.
Sean took this photo one evening before bed time. Initially I wanted to crop myself out...but I think its funnier with me in it. Ah, what I won't do for comedy.

Babies are tiny little insane people #1 Why am I so tired?

2007-11-08T09:28:00.000-05:00

I give you...exhibit A wake up time 6 a.m.
She is slow to wake up but when she is finally fully awake she is on '12' for most of the day.
I believe this is breakfast somewhere around 7 a.m. I am surprised that I am able to use a camera with one eye open.
Mazy was voicing her displeasure with the inedible banana skin and beating her hands on the highchair tray.

Untruth In Advertising

2007-10-01T13:36:00.001-04:00

Driving east on Bloor at Yonge today. A group of Nuns and clergy men... lots of men with anti- choice placards. Then I saw this group of nuns with signs reading "Women deserve better than abortion." I was curious as to what this message was supposed to mean. I checked out their website...
Women Deserve Better
So, how when did taking away a Woman's right to choose become a feminist value?
The following is an article from The American Prospect by Adele M. Stan on this very topic.


Untruth In Adverstising

She poops to conquer.

2007-08-07T09:13:00.000-04:00

The summer is almost over and the 'dog days' have become the "look at the doggie" days.
There is an abundance of butterflies and our little girl, the amazing Ms. M can tracks these small creatures and squeal with delight at the sight of finding one.
I am more tired than I have ever been in my life so far and some days I don't know how I am going to get through it. My daughter gives me the daily insatiable urge to see what the world has to offer.
All the small things matter.

Logic VS ?

2007-06-29T09:56:00.000-04:00

The other day I was changing Ms. M and listening to the radio. It was a piece about creationism and evolution. I'm always half listening to it as baby is my main focus but I got the gist of it. A teacher (I use the term loosely) from a christian fundamentalist school takes his students to an exhibit on paleontology. The students start asking the scientist why he presents "false facts."
The scientist responds that facts are called facts because they are proven things.
The scientist was incredibly open to these children, who seem to have been brainwashed by the very system educating them. These children felt like the world of science was lying to them by presenting theories as fact. The teacher took great relish in complicating things by suggesting that because science was was willing to revise things on a regular basis...it had to be false.
The scientist, who was remarkably respectful of this teacher in front of his charges was stunned by his rigid responses..."wow, you've really got this all wrapped up your head." He remarked with a half laugh.
It made me sad to hear how earnest these children were and how few questions they were really allowed to ask by the teacher. I was completely disturbed by how the teacher used his charismatic way of speaking to the scientist to confuse and mislead these children.
Pisses me off that no one is telling these kids that you can believe in your god, and science also.
And that's a fact.

For A Day

2007-06-19T19:22:00.000-04:00

A couple of weekends ago, I went with a bunch of other Women to a wine tour in the Vineyards of Niagara. This was the first time I have been away from the baby for such a long stretch of time - eight hours to be exact. I knew she was in good hands with her father, but it was still so hard to leave.
Sometimes, at night I wake up with the sensation that she is still in my belly or that she is sleeping on me, when I know she is sleeping peacefully and soundly in her own crib, in her own room. In her own room - lord, how does that happen? Such a tiny little human barely 4 months old and already she is claiming her own space and becoming her own person.

Making, finding, losing, finding and making friends again.

2007-06-05T21:48:00.000-04:00

This is a photo that I shot when my daughter was barely two months old, in retrospect I think it was perhaps too soon to do this job and I was a nervous wreck while doing it. The author's name is Gil Adamson - you're going to hear more of it soon when her new novel 'The Outlander'(House of Anansi Press) makes it's debut. What makes this cover unique is how kind and understanding Gil was about my sheer fear of being away from my child so soon and I was completely put at ease by her. We became friends that day.
It was a conversation I had last Friday with another new friend that sparked me to really think about the process of making friends.
Since becoming a Mother I have made more new friends than I can ever remember and I have also re connected with some people that I can't believe I ever fell out of touch with.
Was it that our paths were supposed to cross again now? Did I need time to realize how integral you were to my life? Some people we've known forever and after a long time apart we fall into easy and comfortable candor. I found myself elated and feeling like a teenage girl in recent weeks...wanting conversations to go on forever.
I think I trust people more now - trust myself to be a good friend to them and if I am not - I know that all these people, these friends will tell me.

Reconstructed

2007-05-14T23:14:00.000-04:00

I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I decided to put work into this years CONTACT.
I was very pregnant when I committed to it and thought that perhaps I would have one of those sleepy babies and I could get lots of work done in a short period of time and then I would hold hands with unicorns and fairy's under a marshmallow sky and we would skip off into a land of chocolate. Not so much.
What I did manage to create are three new pieces that I have been working on for a long time. They are part of what will be a larger series (in due time) called 'We Were Born From Fire.'
I'll be showing these three new pieces at a group show called 'Reconstructed' which is part of CONTACT. The theme of this years CONTACT is 'The constructed image.'
I'm very excited to be a part of this show as there are so many excellent artists that I will be sharing the space with.
The show is at Gallery 1313 which is 1313 Queen St. West Toronto, ON from May 16th to the 27th. Our opening is on the thursday the 17th from 7-10 p.m.

With Bells On

2007-05-01T23:01:00.000-04:00

We bought our baby a tricked out new stroller. I have to eat crow on this one as the pre baby me really ragged on folks who bought expensive strollers. I now understand why people end up buying expensive strollers. If you walk a lot it's important to have something that handles well and is comfortable to push. Most people will drop coin on up to four strollers in their child's lifetime. We bought the Chariot...it is literally called a Chariot. It's made in Canada and is very light, very manoeuvrable, and turns on a dime. You can attach a jogging wheel, skis and pull it behind a bicycle (though I am far too paranoid to ever do that in this city). It is also a very safe stroller which definitely factored into the purchase. And and and...it is good up to 75lbs and the resale value is excellent. So, now that I have completely justified this all in my own self righteous head - I've a story to tell...

When rolling down the city sidewalks with the Chariot, one gets noticed. Lots of "that's a cool stroller." Or, "now that's a good idea."
Today, while rolling merrily along bloor a man approached me. He was wearing culottes which was not the strangest part of his attire. Both his culottes and his shirt were fringed with silver bells and he sounded and looked like a garish christmas ornament. He stopped me on the sidewalk and with a serious look said "that is the most dangerous stroller I have ever seen." Mistakenly thinking he was using dangerous as an adjective I smiled and replied "yeah and it goes really fast too." The man recoiled in what appeared to be horror and it was then that I realized he meant that the stroller actually looked dangerous and that I was clearly an irresponsible parent with a blatant disregard for my child's safety.
When I told this story to a family member later in the day, she pointed out that he had was probably going to meet someone and told them that he "would be there, with bells on."

a few words about paranoia

2007-04-24T15:54:00.000-04:00

I know it's the interrupted sleep that is doing this to me, but I couldn't help thinking about all the crazy childhood paranoia I had.
Killer bees were at the top of my list for a while. An older cousin had come to babysit us and told me about the killer bees - right before bed time. Nice.
I lay awake in bed trying to imagine all the possible ways I could foil a killer bee attack. My best idea which finally allowed me some semblance of peace so that I could sleep was to cover our house in tons of chewed up wads of bubblicious gum.
When I got a little older my biggest fear was in regards to something that I had witness on a t.v. show called 'That's Incredible.' The fear was of spontaneous combustion and I can't tell you how many times in the summer I feared that my head would simply explode with no warning.

All Babies Look Like Winston Churchill

2007-04-15T09:42:00.000-04:00

They may not all look like him but most babies do bear a striking resemblance to old men...personally, I think babies are like little drunk people. But not the maudlin kind - happy drunks. Y'no the type, "I love you man."
Winston Churchill was rarely photographed smiling. I suppose he was trying to project the image that all leaders do. When he did smile, he looked like what most old white male politicians are...
big babies.

Generations

2007-04-11T17:21:00.000-04:00

My Grandmother celebrated her 93rd birthday while we were up north. Coincidentally, Sean's birthday is on the same day.
She seemed delighted to be holding the fourth of her great grandchildren and laughed with delight at the baby's every move.

Rest

2007-04-01T22:19:00.000-04:00

Off to the Sault for a week to show off the baby and some much needed rest...I have accepted that family life is interdependent and I'm really looking forward to the extra loving hands of our families. It's also my Grandma's 93rd birthday - same day as Sean's. I can't wait to see her with her great grand daughter (her fourth great grand child).
Also, going to be shooting some photos for part of the upcoming CONTACT festival. The birth of our daughter has completely re framed my ideas for the exhibit. I have discovered creativity that I wasn't aware I had.
I'm more tired than I have ever been in my life. Y'no, the crying kind of tired - but happy.
Happier than I ever thought possible.
These moments are fleeting, like perfect light - and my mind is the camera. I want these moments with this tiny girl etched in my memory.
She is growing so fast.
And so am I.

Poo

2007-03-27T19:46:00.000-04:00

I almost wanted to photograph it because it was absurd in it's quantity. And after reading the poo entry by Adina I was laughing and thinking..."she has to see this one."
Instead I'll just post this...

Tired of all the B.S

2007-03-18T22:59:00.000-04:00

I didn't get to post on International Women's Day...I was busy being a Woman that day.
I did get to lay in bed with my daughter and listen to some arsehole on the CBC phoning in to give his opinion on feminism and what it means to him...yowza! I am really astounded that there are so many men out there who still feel so completely threatened by the mere mention of feminism. One poor slob actually used the term "man hating" (oh yawn).
I just really wanted an excuse to post another baby picture.

Love is the Province of the Brave

2007-03-05T12:44:00.000-05:00

Love is the Province of the Brave - That is the title of a song I have listened to several times today. The band is 'TV on the Radio' and I think it may be one of my new favourites.
It's been three weeks since Mazy was born and I feel like I am just beginning to understand what this all means. I've never felt so anxious, crazy and awash with intense love like this - but it is a love that requires all the strength I can muster in my tired body. As my aunt is fond of saying "time to put on your big girl pants."
I've always considered myself a pretty tough and self reliant woman, but this is a family and I'm not required to do it all myself. In fact, it all works out better by helping and supporting each other - go figure.
Perhaps it's the sleep deprivation or the strange new hormones coursing through my veins but people have been offering some pretty profound thoughts lately.
"Family life is interdependent." I've let that one roll around in my mind for a couple weeks now realizing I am learning how to be in a family and that must truly sink in to the very depths.
There are truth's that one can't know until they get there.

Mazy

2007-02-14T22:10:00.000-05:00

it was a long haul - so worth it. I've lots to tell and more pics to come. Still catching our breath and just enjoying this beautiful child.
Mazy McFarling born Feb 12/07 11:30 p.m.
8lbs 6ozs (it WAS all baby) and about 21 inches long.
She is the most amazing thing we have ever laid eyes on.

The Sweetest Divide

2007-02-11T12:49:00.000-05:00

Now I understand what the woman in our prenatal class was talking about.
She said, "the baby has not even left my body yet, and already I miss it."
That's the first step towards this being that lives in you, with you and off of you for nine plus months becoming it's own person.
They will have their own unique dreams and fears - and though they will need you for a long time yet, slowly they will come into their own.
That's the job ahead - to let them become who they are and who they have the potential to be.
To accept that this person who sprung from your body is going to have a mind of their own.
It's surreal to know that soon there will be a whole new person here, with us.
We divide and multiply simultaneously.

Our thanks to Ruth for the beautiful photos that we will cherish forever.

Testa Dura - 1 week over due

2007-02-09T19:06:00.000-05:00

Testa dura, is what the Italian neighbours used to call me when I was a small child. I believe it means "hard head" or "stubborn" but those of you who speak the language please correct me if the spelling is off.
I've been referred to as stubborn and a bit impatient too...if everyone would just do what I want things would go so much smoother.
I'm detecting some of these similar traits of baby in utero. Over due is normal for first timers I'm told – every thing I have read and most Mother's I've spoken to all point this out.
Still...it's MADDENING.
Perhaps I've made my womb far too cozy of a place.
Yesterday was a routine ultrasound just to make sure everything is still a go and A-Okay.
There she is, languishing upside down - head presentation and ready to go.
Maybe she is also a "bit of dreamer" as it says on many of my public school report cards.
If it was last week, I could completely understand not wanting to leave the warmth and comfort and come into a -27 windchill world.
It's not just a matter of being impatient and at times a little bored (cheerio art anyone?). There is a necessary selfish element to this - I want my body back now. I'd like to bend at the waist and be able to see my own feet again. I would love to roll over in bed and not feel as if I am wrestling an alligator each time. I'd like to go and eat spicy Ethiopian food without worrying about the esophagus searing heartburn that wakes me up in the middle of the night.
Most of all...I want our damn baby.

The Due Date or Alien VS. Predator

2007-01-31T13:48:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning with what Sean called my "Christmas face." I slept well, but had the strange dreams that I do every night.
Last night involved dreams about traveling to exotic locations with waterfalls and giant snails adhered onto the sides of steep rock faces.
Also, I dream about food a lot which usually results in waking up a few times a night to eat.
Last night I almost slept right through with no heartburn to speak of.
I finally woke up laughing to myself because the last image in my final dream was a large pile of assorted dough-nuts in a pile obstructing my path out of a large high school type building.
When I became frustrated with not being able to exit the way I wanted - I started hurling them at people. I had to make a choice whether to throw a jelly or a fritter. I decided on the jelly as the fruit filling would show people that I meant business.
So, this is my due date - and as only about 5% of the population is actually born on their date I suspect I will be waiting a few days.
Gives me time to shorten the curtains in the baby's room and display some of her stuffed animals.
The baby Alien and Predator were given to me by my friend Marcel.

Nostalgia

2007-01-27T12:05:00.000-05:00

It's like the cold allows me to access a whole other part of myself that I forgot.

Walking in biting cold and snow hills plowed up like castles in grocery store parking lots. Sitting on a crisp layer of snow in the front yard - gazing at the night sky and marveling at all the stars and the way the world moves slower. Pulling fat beads of ice off of the ends of my mittens. Watching from the warmth of home as the snow falls and covers the world for a deep sleep.
These thoughts could over ride even the most terrible it seems.
Even the most traumatic could be covered by this.
This hope of better things to come.

On Line Errors and more reasons to start writing letters again.

2007-01-22T09:50:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to feel a bit screwed over by Sympatico.
Checked email the other day to discover a message from an old friend - who, has hopefully found this blog. It was great to hear from you and yes it does seem like 100 years or maybe 100 life times. I composed a message back to you, which I found out this morning did not get to you. Not only did this message not get to you but my whole inbox was gone. So, write back if you are so inclined and I will pick up a pen and write down your email old school on an actual piece of paper that won't disappear into wherever all this information goes.
For the rest of you, I'm going to use the phone...yes, the phone. I'm going to walk over to where it is nestled in its special place, pick it up and dial. Then I am going to have what I am sure is to be an incredibly frustrating conversation with a rep from Sympatico...yeah, that should be good.

Anyone else having many difficulties with blogger? Each time I try to link to other pages via my page I get the BAD REQUEST Error 400 message...I don't know what this means and nothing that I have read on the blogger site has served to enlighten me.
While I'm at, does anyone know how to remedy dandruff in cats?

Unrealistic Expectations

2007-01-18T15:31:00.000-05:00

I hang out at my local diner a lot. It's close - literally right next door to our apartment building.
I consider the owner a friend and I see her working her ass off day after day. Most of the time I do go to eat, but sometimes I just stop by to say hello and see how everything is going.
When I sit and eat, I like to read the paper and just observe. What I have observed recently is this - most people are really good at being served. They have the necessary skills to be a good patron - they say please and thank you and don't have out of line demands. There seems to be a select few however, that need a few tips on how to be a good customer.
If you search "tips for being a good customer" it will take you a long long time to find some (if any) information on the subject. There are more than enough sites, articles and opinion pieces on what good customer service is.
What I notice most is that people sometimes have unrealistic expectations of the establishment they are in.
If you are in a diner, frankly you are a bit of a tool for expecting them to have specialty coffees and an even bigger tool if you inform the server that you have "high expectations when it comes to coffee."
You're in a diner... It's diner coffee.
Some people also seem have this idea that because they are paying for it, they can order the server around like a flunky slave and make even more unrealistic demands on that servers time and energies.
You're in a diner...there is one person cooking in the back and one taking orders, serving, clearing and dealing with what ever else comes up. Y'no, little things like a backed up toilet, shovelling snow and dealing with various deliveries. Chances are pretty good that you are not the only customer in the place.
I love my local diner and I've experienced working in the service industry, specifically restaurants. It's hard and often thankless work.
A little decency goes a long, long way.

All I wanted was some F'ing Raspberries

2007-01-11T19:07:00.000-05:00

Her name is LaToya and I think I love her.

I really wanted some raspberries to put in my chocolate pudding.
I waddled to the grocery which is usually not a long walk, but in my current state a long walk is ten minutes.
You see, this baby has dropped substantially and me, being of short torso and short legs - there's not a ton of clearance there.
Its good, I needed to get out and walk and my mission was a simple one.
Go to grocery, get raspberries and get home.
I picked up the raspberries and a few other items and headed for the checkout.
When I picked up the berries to put them on the checkout desk the top flipped open and the berries went flying everywhere. Most of them ended up on the floor of the aisle and in my attempts to not make more of a mess I stepped on half of them almost slipping myself.
Normally, I would laugh.
I could feel my face grow hot and red and my eyes start to well with tears. I made a huge mess and no one else that was in the ever expanding line could advance because of it.
This upset me even more.
I informed LaToya of what had just happened and she promptly called for "Clean up in aisle seven." When there was no response LaToya wasted no time and grabbed paper towel from behind her cash and proceeded to do it herself.
This made me want to cry more as I apologized "I'm sorry, I would help if I could." You see, I can't bend over or kneel down like that.
Then, the guy behind me said to LaToya, "let me do it, you're busy enough." He took the paper towel and cleaned up the mess. I thanked him and he said "no problem."
This was a nice thing he did and of course made me want to cry even more.
When LaToya starting checking out my order she even offered to go get me more berries. "It's no trouble" she said.
I saw how big the line had become and I declined her very kind offer...that really was above and beyond.
"It's okay," I said. "I think I just want to go home now."
LaToya smiled at me with a smile that was the psychic equivalent of a mother drying the tears of a young child who had just dropped her ice cream. That happened to be just what I needed at that moment.
"Besides, I've got these apples" I said.

2007-01-08T19:42:00.000-05:00

This is inspired by the basketball game Sean and I went to on friday as well as the recent issue of SLAM magazine.
It's kind of funny that basketball would end up being my favourite sport and I have all but abandoned watching hockey. I felt like a bit of a traitor for awhile because I am Canadian and a northerner. I think that watching hockey for me was more about a way to remember my Grandfather who was a huge fan of the Habs and would watch Hockey night in Canada (en Francais) while sitting in his gold velour recliner - drinking a Blue. I would come half way down the stairs when I couldn't sleep and watch him. I knew, that he knew I was there and letting me stay there until I felt I could sleep again.
To this day, I find the sound of a t.v. on a low volume in the next room to which I am sleeping comforts me.
As far as not being as into hockey as I used to be goes - I will still watch the odd game, though the Leafs are a constant disappointment (shoot out anyone?). My favourite kind of hockey to watch is Olympic and the Canadian Women's team is amazing.

Ring it in...LOUD!

2007-01-01T17:51:00.000-05:00

We traveled north to visit family and friends. It was a stress free visit for us and though I was really missing being able to imbibe all manner of alcoholic beverage and delicious food it didn't seem to matter to me. There were lots of children around and that just made the whole deal fun.
Being non Christians, Christmas is really all about the festive party atmosphere, food, drink and yes...gifts. I like getting them and I like giving them.
We enjoyed watching our youngest nephew all of seven months old play with coloured wrapping paper and delight in all the flashing lights and rapt attention of the adults.
We enjoyed watching our older niece and nephews (Maggie, pictured above) play games and spread their easy going warmth to those of us who were just catching our breath after a stressful year.
Got home to news of a dear friend having a baby, a healthy baby boy named Maxwell.
Rang in the New Year with a game of poker that I did better in than I thought I would. I made it to midnight and even a bit beyond, then I took my baby filled self to bed.
As I lay in bed listening to members of my family continue playing poker and getting rowdy (I was greatly comforted by this). I thought of all that 2007 will bring...some more good friends having babies, we'll have our baby and a marriage in the family.
True, the world is kinda fucked - but I was falling asleep to the tune of how I personally can lead my life to affect change...no matter how minute.
2007 - bring it on and kick it in the ass!

Puss In Boots World Tour '06

2006-12-20T23:24:00.000-05:00

Hey, remember these two ladies?
Yeah, well if you don't you can search my archives for them. Or you can read my sorely out of date website (I've been occupied with cooking my offspring) and essay/artists statement about the P in B girls.
These are the Puss In Boots girls and they are currently traveling abroad and breaking hearts.
I am due to push out a baby in about 5 weeks - yikes. So, no photography involving P in B this year except this here postcard from afar...for those of you who supported our project for the last couple years thank you thank you thank you.
For those of you wondering what in the hell I am writing about here - just ask, I've got time to explain - and I need the distraction.
So, a photography project on hold for a year - who knows where we will take this next?
All I can say for sure is that it was pretty cool when in our first year a photo got picked up by Harlequin and in our second year we had a huge party that was incredibly well attended.
Mmmm, onward I say.
Megan and Jessica, you sure are two cool chicks and I'm glad to know you both.
Raise a glass to Puss In Boots!

Women Won't Forget

2006-12-06T09:02:00.000-05:00

Geneviève Bergeron
Hélène Colgan
Nathalie Croteau
Barbara Daigneault
Anne-Marie Edward
Maud Haviernick
Barbara Klucznik Widajewicz
Maryse Laganière
Maryse Leclair
Anne-Marie Lemay
Sonia Pelletier
Michèle Richard
Annie St-Arneault
Annie Turcotte

First their names must appear.
Since December 6th 1989 we must say them as a mantra and not forget.
Women will never forget.
There are so many more names of Women who have been killed by men.
There continues to be so much violence, oppression and injustice.
Still our culture refuses to name violence against Women in all its incarnations.
Avoidance, collusion.
From the highway of tears to the women who suffer fearful in silence under the same roof as their abuser.

I went to the vigil at philosophers walk tonight.
Heard the stories and saw the faces.
I lit a candle and held a single rose.
I observed a silence and shared in a collective scream.